I have been thinking about my hair lately, and wondering if it might be time for a change – nothing drastic – just a little different. A while ago, I wrote a post about how other people perceive you based on the Hair Part Theory, which basically states that your hair part is telling other people something about you – and you can change what they think by changing your part. Maybe I need to ponder this hair change idea a little bit; because how I wear my hair is saying something about me to other people.
Not only your hair part, but the length of your hair might be sending a message to other people. It affects how others perceive you and suggests something about your personality. Do I want to make a statement?
My Hair Story
Over the years, I have had short hair, medium-length hair, long hair, bobbed hair, layered hair, permed hair, colored hair, middle part, left part, no bangs, as well as a variety of bang styles. Right now, I have long, straight hair. It is my natural color, which is brown. I have a gray streak in the front, although there are a few stragglers throughout. I like my hair long. It feels like me.
After reaching a certain age – about 40, I began to get the message that I should not wear my hair long. For some reason, long hair is for the young. So, I have kept my hair somewhere between my chin and shoulders for most of the last decade. Why? Is there a connection between the length of my hair and my maturity? Is the meaning behind this message that I should start acting my age? You are getting older, so start looking it. Conform.
Apparently, the length of my hair is important to other people. I already knew this, in part, because all of my life I have gotten feedback about the length of my hair, whether I asked for it or not. I am not just talking about compliments after getting a great new style. I am talking about criticism.
In adolescence, the criticism was sometimes cruel. Sporting the popular shag cut, after having about 10-12 inches lopped off, I heard: “What happened? Did you get run over by a lawn mower?” But I can’t say that hurtful remarks were always from insensitive, immature boys. Yes, even tactless adults can sting you with: “What did you do to your hair?” “Oh, you changed your color. Do you like it?” “I really like your hair short (when I am wearing it long).” Maybe you have had a similar experience.
The Long and Short of It
People have strong opinions about hair. How you wear your hair says something to other people. There is something to be said about first impressions. So let’s take a look at what your hair is saying about you.
Short Hair on a Woman
Short hair can be high-maintenance as it requires a lot of trips to the stylist, if one wants to keep it looking styled. This type of hair style might indicate that the person values their appearance, and they are willing to pay for it. Yes, short hair can be perceived by others as an indicator of your financial well-being.
If a woman is willing to spend a lot of money maintaining her hair, that suggests a few things – affluence and umm…vanity. It can show a need for acceptance, a concern about how others’ perceive you, and possible insecurity. (Compare this to how similar men are perceived – in the section about ‘Styled Hair on a Man’. Double standards exist even when it comes to hair.)
It might also mean that you are artistic. If the style is current, you might be showing you are modern and fashionable.
Short hair is a popular style for professional women, and it can demonstrate confidence and the willingness to take risks.
Short Hair on a Man
Short hair might indicate a man is practical, plays sports, is conservative, or it is a requirement of his job.
Men with short hair, that is longer in the front, are perceived as sexy, confident, and a bit self-absorbed.
Men who shave their head bald fall into this category.
Styled Hair on a Man
Like a woman who takes time to style her hair, blow-dry it, and spray it in place, these men play close attention to their appearance. This might indicate that he is vain; and also, more concerned with image, status and power. (Does this make him insecure? The language is different than it is for similar women.)
Medium Length Hair on a Woman
Women with medium length hair, especially dark hair, are perceived as being intelligent and fun-loving.
Medium Length Hair on a Man
Men with medium hair length, side-parted, are perceived as being intelligent, confident and affluent.
Long Hair on a Woman
Women over 40, who wear their hair long, might be caught up in a time-warp; still think of themselves as teenagers or college students, and may have an unrealistic outlook on life as well as in their perception of themselves. (I’ll just respond now. Ouch!)
It isn’t all bad news for those of us over 40 who prefer longer locks. Long hair can reveal a bohemian spirit or freedom from conventional expectations.
Long straight hair means you are serious, straight-forward and sincere – unless it is blond, which is perceived as sexy and affluent (Am I hearing the old adage here, that blonds have more fun? Not to mention that blonds must pay for their hair color? I am basing that on the other remarks related to affluence, as it relates to paying for hair care.).
Women with long hair are often described as calm, gentle, polite, mysterious, and obedient (really?). Some women believe long hair makes them more sexually appealing.
Long Hair on a Man
Men with long hair are perceived as less intelligent, careless, but good-natured. Let me just throw in my two cents and say that I always associate long hair on men with more artistic or philosophical types (not to mention bikers and mountain men).
Gray Hair
Women who let their hair go gray naturally are likely to be comfortable with their age. They decide what they like for themselves and what looks good on them. I am guessing that, to some extent, this is true of men. In our youth-oriented culture, gray can be challenging for both sexes, especially when looking for a job or dating.
What It All Means
Honestly, I think there is a little bit of truth in some of this information. Part of what I have included here is from a study conducted by Dr. Marianne LeFrance, director of the study “First Impressions and Hair Impressions” and Professor of both Psychology and Women’s and Gender Studies at Yale University. Some of it is based on Jo-Ellan Dimitrius’s book, Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior – Anyplace, Anytime. All of it was gathered online.
Some of the information has to do with how others perceive you based on your hair, and some of it has to do with what your hair might indicate about your personality. In any case, it is something to think about.
I believe that hair length and styles change over time, not to mention that different cultures have different ideas about hair. So, like most information of this type, I don’t give it much weight, other than to acknowledge that one’s appearance can leave a lasting impression, and it can be especially important when it is a first impression.
When I was younger, I was concerned with being myself; not conforming to what other people expected of me. That included my hair, although I never went crazy. But as I matured, I realized that first impressions say a lot about you. This meant and means that I must think about the image I project to others. Even armed with this knowledge, I still don’t conform, at least not entirely. After all, I am over 40, I wear my hair long, and I am a bohemian at heart, if not in practice. It’s either that or I have an unrealistic perception of myself (see above).
Crime and Literature 
I get more compliments on my hair now that I have made peace with the curls and let it gray naturally. But there was a time, probably ten years ago, that I had newly colored hair and it cooperated in styling that day (rarely happens). A gentleman walked past me in the grocery store and commented on my “beautiful hair.” That’s the nicest thing a stranger ever said to me.
Although my hair has picked up a slight wave as I have gotten older, it has been straight and fine my whole life. I always thought girls with naturally curly hair were the lucky ones.
What about women who’s husband’s would have a heart attack if they cut it anything more than a trim? Cause I fall into that category. 🙂 I do love my long hair though cause I can trim it myself & the weight keeps the frizz down, but every once in awhile I think about a change cause change is fun. Btw I like your hair now, I think it suits you too.
Thank you. I think your long hair suits you, too. It’s a good thing, considering the consequences to your husband. 🙂
The snide remarks of which you speak, for me (and I have shoulder length hair) come from my mother. She’s had very short and very chic hair for decades and, like a lot of moms, thinks any daughter with any sense of taste and or style should do the same. I’m not moving over to the dark side.
Actually, for me, long hair is just easier. I can twist and pull it up in a butterfly type clip on a bad hair day. And my hair is dry so I can usually go 3 days between shampooing. I do pay too much money to get a weave every 2 months but I don’t want to forego the blonde yet.
I’m doing what I want with my hair and I like that more and more women are doing the same – at any age. Now about that pink streak I’ve been considering…..
My mother, who is fashionable, has been one of my hair critics over the years. She seems to have given up, or maybe she is finally accepting me the way I am.
I’m glad I am not alone! I have considered a blue streak, but I am not that bold. I did have subtle feather extentions put in last year. I was sorry when they fell out.
Remember when Halle Berry and Charlize Theron both got those really short haircuts? I thought they looked great, so I chopped mine off. Hard reality: I do not have a face as gorgeous as Halle or Charlize; thus, I didn’t look great. I looked like a lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I don’t know why, but your comment ended up in Spam. So glad I checked. You are hilarious!
I dug the shag cut of the era.
I have not had fancy cuts, though one cut was quite close to a mullet.
Most times its been long, though I had it very short in some of high school and a hand full of years as an adult. It was easy to care for and I enjoyed that. Funny thing is, all the time I kept my hair short, yes, I felt more accepted, though still not like I fit in, and I’d dream of it being long and feeling great,…then, I’d wake up in disappointment…sort of a let down.
Its now long, passed shoulders. Big deal, right? Hey, Im a musician and philisophical, a biker and love the country…so, Im good, eh? I think Im pretty good natured, Ive got a high IQ, and very careful. Stereotypes and critiques are often valueless, anyway, is my guess. (Word to self)
So, I feel and understand what your saying.
If people dont dig your hair….shag em. Only kidding.
I have always been a fan of long hair on men, although I also appreciate shorter cuts. Even if the mullet comes back, I would touch that hair cut. What did they used to say? Business in the front – party in the back. That is one confused look.
I don’t like to use stereotypes, but I guess in some ways, we all have a way that we categorize the world around us. I guess I just make certain associations with long hair based on my experience.
Joe Dirt rules! Well, actually, in the end they changed his hair from a mullet to a tied back dred. Still rules, though! : }
Enjoying your blog
Thanks 🙂
Joe Dirt – Haha. That is one heck of a mullet! But, I did mean to say that I would NOT touch that hair cut.
Yes, I figured you did. Im just that excited about Joe Dirt. : D
I love your long hair and I was so envious that you could cut your hair into a shag when we were younger. I tried and it looked somewhat mulletesque. (hahaha, I made a new word). I, too, like my longer hair. After years of short hair (influenced by Mom), I have decided that my longer hair is easier to maintain, my daughters love it and so does John, and I can throw it in a pony tail whenever I want. The bohemian in us cannot change no matter what our hair length and quite frankly that is the favorite part of my personality. So…nay-sayers can judge my hair, say I am living a second child hood or disapprove….it is staying!
You are beautiful. poo-poo on the negative ninnies. =)
The same mother tried to influence my hair length for years, and while I didn’t go short, I compromised. But, now I feel like me again. I am glad you like it. I love yours long, too!
The shag? Oh, how I hated that haircut, and the torture I got from the 9th grade boys on the bus. Did you get run over by a lawn mower? You get the idea. And don’t you remember Dad’s reaction? He cried out: “WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?” I cried for hours.
I love to make up new words. The thing that counts is that their meaning is completely understood 🙂