“We are lonely but fearful of intimacy. Digital connections offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. We expect more from technology and less from each other”. –Sherry Turkle, MIT
Recently, I was checking out Matt Mullenweg’s (founder of Word Press) blog, when I found an essay that led me to Joe Kraus’s (a partner of Google Ventures) blog. Both of them addressed the topic of how we are creating a culture of distraction through our love of technology. Check out the links to read their articles.
Digital Intimacy?
What kind of a relationship do you have with your phone? Is it always within arm’s reach? Is your e-mail sent to your phone? How many Internet searches do you do on your phone each day? Do you use your phone for banking? Do you get your news and weather on your phone? Do you listen to music on your phone? Do you play games on your phone? Do you take photos with your phone? How often do you text? How many calls do you make and receive a day? Do you use your phone to connect to social media – Facebook, Twitter, blogging?
- Do you use your phone while you are doing other things?
- Do you use your phone while you are with other people?
- Smartphones are called SMART for a reason. But, sometimes I wonder if we are smart about the way we use them.
We have all seen people texting or talking on their phones, or we have seen photos or videos of them, while they are doing other tasks: working, driving, walking, eating, conversing, shopping, etc.
I can’t tell you how many times I have seen young parents engaged with their phone while their toddler or young child is being neglected. Do you think that is too strong of a word? I don’t. At the expense of their children’s need for attention and protection, the phone draws these young parents to it like a magnet. Children are only young once, and as any parent of older children can tell you, the time flies by quickly. It saddens me to think what these parents are missing out on, and more importantly, what their children are missing. The message to them is clear: something is more important to Mommy or Daddy than I am. And, while the finding is anecdotal, neglect due to smartphones is also leading to a rise in child injuries.[i] Okay, I’ll get off of my soapbox and move on. But first, you can check out this video from the Wall Street Journal:
Our Brains Cannot Multi-task – They Become Distracted
As I pointed out in an earlier post, “Distracted Driving and Your Brain,” we cannot multi-task. Our brains can only do one thing at a time, so when we try to do two things at the same time, our brain actually quickly switches back and forth between the two, giving precedence to one of them. Our brain becomes distracted.
As our brain becomes distracted, our attention span shortens. We become less proficient, less effective, and less intelligent. Our IQ drops 10 points and we are 40% less efficient. According to Joe Kraus, our phones are a distractor and “the more we train our brain to pay attention to this distractor, the more distracted we become…We’re radically over-developing the parts of quick thinking, distractible brain and letting the long-form-thinking, creative, contemplative, solitude-seeking, thought-consolidating pieces of our brain atrophy by not using them.”[ii]
Do You Need to Change the Relationship You Have With Your Phone?
I guess the question is whether or not we spend more time connected to our phone than with the real world, in real relationships. Or, is the question whether or not the nature of how we connect with one another changing. For some of us, the answer to both of these questions might be yes.
Our love relationship with our phones is affecting how parents interact with their children. It affects most of what we do, from work to play. We connect with our friends via our phones instead of face to face. We even shop and work from our phones. Are our phones improving our relationships or hurting them?
Technology has changed the way we interact with the world and with each other. It has changed the way we do things. One might argue that our smartphones help us to be more connected to one another and that they help to keep us informed and current. But, if our phones are a distractor, and as a result, our brains are changing; then, maybe it is time to reconsider our relationship with our phones and ask ourselves if we need to change.
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© Robin Tjernagel
Crime and Literature
Real Life and Life Imagined
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P.S. I do not send my e-mail to my phone, or pull it out while in the company of others to answer calls or text. And, I often miss calls or messages because my phone is not within arm’s reach.
Sources: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390444772404577589683644202996.html
http://ma.tt/
Crime and Literature 
If my phone isn’t within arms reach, I’m back-tracking to see where I might have left it. 🙂 I seem to do a lot of that lately. It can be a distraction, but I don’t let it rule my life.
In a world where we are so connected to one another through technology; but especially because of our cell phones, there seems to be a feeling of urgency and expectation – a need for instant gratification – and the idea of doing nothing for even a few seconds becomes inconceivable.
I cannot imagine a life without my cell phone. We don’t even use a land line any longer, except for a fax machine.
Interesting insight Robin. I am reading Brene Brown’s Daring Greatly and she also talks about this digital disconnection. Many times she’s observed people in line at the store or the drive thru on their phone while whispering things to clerk during their transaction. Ms. Brown decided to acknowledge these sales clerks/store associates and the response was overwhelming. The sales clerks said that sometimes people on the phone don’t even realize that they exist. I thought that was so sad and revealing at the same time.
My marriage to my phone is ambivalent. I cling to it, yet I know I need to disconnect. It’s important I believe for my own welfare and that of my family…
Thanks.
I checked out Daring Greatly on Good Reads. It sounds like an interesting book. I have always believed that vulnerability takes courage.
I have observed people who talk on their phone while interacting with others, as in the example you gave from Brown’s book. I wonder how customers would feel if the cashier picked up his/her phone during their checkout – sort of turn the table on them. I bet the customer would be unhappy. I have had that experience at a local gas station; the attendant was talking on the phone while filling the tank. I felt it was inappropriate and rude. And I think that is the point. For some people, their manners seem to go out the window when they talk or text on their phone. It is sad.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment.
I refuse. I just refuse to be that connected to my phone. I DO use it for GPS, for texting (never when I’m in the driver’s seat), phone calls, internet searches, FB and email. I don’t attach it to my hip though.
I taught high school students in the 90’s and when I was getting my education, we were warned that as teachers, we’d have to keep up with kid’s attention spans because they’d been raised on the likes of Sesame Street – where images and jingles were quick. These kids, we were told, were used to being entertained. Hard to imagine now, that Sesame Street was the biggest concern of distraction. I can’t even imagine the rhythm now. And if kids are raised by parents who are always distracted with their electronics, then of course they’re imitating that behavior. It may be all they’ve known.
It’s real life folks. It’s real life. What an interesting post Robin.
Thanks, Barb. How could I have forgotten to write about GPS? That is my favorite feature on my phone. I never need to Google directions, print them out, and try to read them while I am driving.
I remember the concern about how Sesame Street was going to affect children’s attention spans and their need to be entertained. How things change…
I am a freak. I forget to take my phone with me whenever I leave the house and I never have it charged, either. It makes my husband NUTS.
My phone is always charged, but chances are my phone is at home when I am out. That is because it is in my office charging…